Crazy is as Crazy Does

Remember the old country song where Waylon sings, “You have to be crazy to keep from going insane?” Well, brother, truer words were never spoken in today’s world. Among politics, religion, environmental issues, hate, death and taxes, people on this planet have a tough road to hoe, and when you add in the Mayan end of the world calendar in 2012, it gets really dicey.

I, for one, don’t give a damn about predictions in general. They have all been wrong or I wouldn’t be here writing this blog. The Mayan calendar thing is a little disconcerting though. The five thousand year cycle could mean the earth’s magnetic poles might switch places and life on this planet could have a really bad day. It has happened in the past and certainly could happen again.

Even this possibility really doesn’t concern me as much as Donald Trump running for president, especially after he said he wasn’t going to run. Could you picture him and Sarah Palin running on the same ticket? Stranger things have happened and continue to do so daily. I doubt The Donald could stand a real close look at his personal life though, but then who could? Just ask Arnold – it’s a good thing he wasn’t born in this country or he would have been running until a couple of days ago. I still don’t believe that the Schwarzenegger family couldn’t spot one of Arnie’s spawn a mile away. The accent thing should have given the little rug-rat away.

I think the craziest thing I have heard recently is that the U.S. had been holding Osama bin Laden prisoner for almost two years at the villa in Pakistan until the time was ripe to kill the bastard and let President Obama take the credit. What better way to get re-elected when the economy is tanked, along with most Americans. Sounds good, but politicians are not smart enough to pull that one off; only the CIA could do that…hhhmmm….

There is one bright spot in all this dark gloom. I was at my fiftieth high school reunion last Friday night and we had invocation and then stood and recited the pledge of allegiance. We even used the words “In God We Trust.” It had been a long time since I uttered those words and it felt very good. Perhaps I should stop worrying about the things I have no control over and start trusting in God more. Stop and think about it. Who else is there to trust?

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Jails and Nursing Homes

Here's the way it should be:

"Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment and wheelchairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly...if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally-recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing, like shoes, slippers, pj’s, and legal aid would be free, upon request.

There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room, at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to follow, with attorneys available, at no charge, to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week and suffer from horrible bed sores.

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.

They would have no hope of ever getting out."

“Sounds like justice to me!"

Write on,

Mittster

Imagination Rules!

I was raised in Escondido, California, which is a very conservative community even today. My battles with the powers that be started in the first grade and lasted until I moved away in 1968. My twin brother and I were considered outcasts and we had a very difficult time in high school. “Watch out for the twins; they are so different!”

The first class reunion I attended was in 2001. It took me forty years to understand that it was OK to be liberal in my thinking and actions! The crazy part is that I voted conservative and loved Ronald Regan, who is still my hero. Just following in my parents' footsteps, I suspect.

My twin and I went on to have successful careers in the construction industry, marry, and have families in Tucson, Arizona, which was the city we were born in and migrated back to. My brother still lives there, while I moved on to northern Arizona. My wife and I live in the very small community of Camp Verde, which happens to also be very conservative.

Two years ago, I decided (with the blessing of my wife) to write a murder mystery called Evil in the Mirror. Three months later the work was finished and we then began the proofing, editing and publishing process. While that was going on, I wrote a sequel called Day Stalker. Consequently, both books have been published and let out into the wild. I am now working on the last book of the trilogy, The Phoenix Code, and hope to have it published this summer.

What emerged from these books were very dark, disturbing and scary stories. There is graphic sex and violence, which I maintain is the catalyst for most real life murder stories. My books are not in the genre of Stephen King, but instead, more akin to real life horror stories like Ted Bundy, only worse. They are not for the faint of heart or conservative of mind.

Which brings me to my point; some people can’t or won’t read my books. At first, I took this negative response personally, but now I have come full circle in the realization that the reason my twin and I were shunned was because of our incredible imaginations. We were light-years ahead of everyone else and that fact scared teachers and students alike. In our school days, there was only one way and that was the conservative way!

What I now understand is that we were not alone; there were many kids in our school who had the same problems. Many of them have responded with enthusiasm toward my work. One, a bestselling author, has deemed my work brilliant. It doesn’t get any better than that! Actually, her work is very brilliant also and I am proud to know her.

Well, I am now poised to attend my 50th class reunion in May. I look forward to seeing old friends and making new ones after all these years. I might even sell a few books.

Write on,

Mittster

I Hate Football

Three things I should never do: go to a casino, pick a line in the grocery store, or pick a team to win the Super Bowl (or any football game for that matter). Last night I again demonstrated my ability to pick the losing team while making fun of my wife and kids every time the Steelers made a good play.

The two first quarter touchdowns by the Packers should have been a warning, but I had watched the Steelers win important games after big first half deficits before. What, me worry? After watching the Packers lose three star defensive players to injuries, I just knew the game was in the bag.

It was at this point that I put my thumbs up and pretended they were little people talking to each other while attending the game. Lefty spoke first, “Oh, look, Righty, our team just made a touchdown.” Righty responded, “Looks like wifey's team is losing big time!” Then they both said in unison, “Nana, nana, na na, nana, nana, na, na. You are going lose, you are going to lose.” I patterned the skit after the TV show South Park.

I continued this little skit until the fourth quarter and time was running out for my team. My little guys hung their heads in shame and slunk out of the stadium, never to be seen by the eyes of man again. I became silent as the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl. I was now ready for the texting to start that would make my humiliation complete. My wife just looked at me, smiled and said, “You are such an idiot.”

That I am…that I am,

Mittster

What Darwin Missed

I am sitting here in my office looking at a calendar with a picture of two beautifully colored parakeets kissing on a tree branch in the wild. The picture struck me as odd in the sense that death from many sources could strike the two love birds down in an instant, but there they were kissing like they were in their own universe.

Our beautiful blue planet harbors a chilling reality. Only the strong survive and eat or be eaten is the rule. Even some plant life is carnivorous and no species is immune from being eaten by something big or small. This is the reality of evolution; this is the reality of life on the third planet from the sun.

There is also another reality not written in the text books. It is the reality and power of love. Every species on earth has the ability to love. Love is supposedly genetic in nature, but never associated with evolution. In the academic world, love is associated with the mating urge. “Animals don’t love; they just follow their instinct to propagate.” To this I say, “Bull poop!”

We humans are finally waking up to the fact that animals are far more intelligent than ever imagined. The size of a brain has always been equated to intelligence. Sometimes size does matter, but not in this case – small brains can have huge ideas. We have a Meyer’s parrot living with us, and when I look into his eyes, I see great intelligence and amazing psychic power. He sees into my mind and understands my thoughts. We communicate on a much higher level than when I talk to my neighbors.

So where is all this leading? Well, sometimes I need to be serious about my blog’s content. I would like my readers to take a minute and love whatever pet is close by. I mean really take the time to let your pet or pets know how much you love them. It’s great practice for loving our fellow human beings too.

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Digital Smijital

So my wife has a new fangled cell phone and I am stuck with the Stone Age model. Who cares? Originally, the whole freaking idea of cell phones was to call someone while away from the land line model at the house in the case of an emergency. I don’t think my wife watching soap operas while I am driving qualifies as an emergency. According to her, I now stand corrected!

And while we are at it, what the hell is text messaging all about? I can understand letting your fingers do the walking in the Yellow Pages, but letting your fingers do your talking? That’s like letting your butt do the seeing for God’s sake. Although, my wife has accused me of having butt vision on more than one occasion!

And what about those teeny, tiny letter and number buttons? In the first place, I can’t see them and in the second place my fingers cover three of the little critters at one time. What I can’t believe is that young people sound like little machine guns while texting with their thumbs. I tried texting on my wife’s phone with my thumbs and the noise it admitted sounded like a squealing pig in Deliverance.

One reason my wife wanted the new fangled phone was so she could get on line and Google the answers to things we forget on a daily basis. You know, like actors in a movie or the name of a song. I knew this meant trouble for me. I would blurt out answers not really knowing if they were correct and she would have to just take my word for it. Now she knows when I am talking out of my butt vision!

Oh, here is good one; cell phones are also cameras. Not just still photos, but video to boot. And the kicker is that wifey can now instantly text the pictures to family members who really don’t want to see their dad picking his nose! My whole secret life is now right out in the open for the world to see. Talk about Big Brother; 300 million people in America are all armed with camera phones! A guy can’t even scratch his privates secretly in public anymore.

Let’s not forget the ringtones. I have never heard so many disgusting sounds come out of a small digital box in my whole born days! When I get in a large crowd of people and phones start ringing, I don’t know if I should dance, sing, cry or run. I do like the elk mating call ring tone though. Go figure, my wife says….

She’s just saying,

Mittster

No Excuse

I have no excuse for not having a blog today. So sue me!

Into The Wild

Well, my Evil in the Mirror murder mystery sequel, Day Stalker, will be on its way to the publisher this week for release into the wild. I hope to have my copies by the first of the year. That will be another reason to celebrate New Years Eve!

It will be nice to have two novels posted on Amazon.com, and I plan to have a third by June 2011. The third book in the series is called The Phoenix Code, and I promise you that Detectives Jon Mull and Manny Gonzales will be, as usual, up to their armpits in murder and mayhem! You can also bet that the killer and killings will be unique and terrifying.

After all, it's what you expect from the mind of the Mittster!

I'm just saying....

Sell, Sell, Sell

Remember the movie Trading Places where the two old, greedy millionaires bet that if a snobbish investor and a streetwise con artist switched places, the investor would go bad and the con artist would steal from the company? I never forgot the scene when Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy teamed up and were ready to bankrupt Randolph and Mortimer Duke. Randolph is having a heart attack, while Mortimer is yelling on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, "Sell, sell, sell!" Well, that's how I feel about my book.

My hat is off again to Wheatmark Publishing, Tucson, Arizona. They know how hard I have worked trying to promote my murder mystery, Evil in the Mirror , while writing the sequel, Day Stalker, updating my Website, maintaining my blog five days a week, Twittering and Facebooking like The Mad Hatter, and last, but not least, coming up with new promotional ideas.

I received a heavy box from Wheatmark a few days ago and inside was a 700 page book called 1001 Ways To Market Your Books. I immediately started researching the author, John Kremer, and holy smoly, this guy knocked my socks off! He has forgotten more about writing, promoting, managing, Websites, blogs, Twitter and maybe even time travel, than I will ever know!

The book was a simple way of saying thanks for publishing my sequel with Wheatmark, and I appreciate the gesture very much. You see, they want me to succeed too. After all, it really is about selling books, and with the Internet the world is truly your oyster.

If you are thinking about writing and/or publishing a book, please give Wheatmark Publishing a try. They are the very best at traditional and POD publishing, and it's nice to have their team working with you. Here's to your success!

Write on,

Mittster

Write on, blogger

I thought it might be interesting to compile my first 132 posts into an e-Book. Why? I really don’t know, except maybe to help some folks out there in cyberland who want to learn how to blog. Not that I am an expert or know something other bloggers don’t. Instead, I feel it’s important for first time bloggers to understand that it’s your blog and if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it! That opens the doorway to originality, spontaneity and, best of all, honesty in your writing. My blogs are just that. Mine…and you get what you get.

It’s important to know that every time you blog, you are publishing a short essay about yourself and your personality. Always edit what you publish. If you cannot do that job like a professional, get someone who can. Every time I have published a post that wasn’t edited by my very capable wife, Sandy, there were multiple mistakes, and those mistakes will keep most from reading anything you write, no matter how good the subject matter is. Proofing is not nearly as important. Your ideas are your ideas! Let the marbles fall where they may.

Always remember that publishing means exactly that. You are literally publishing your work for the entire world to see. Over a billion people have the opportunity to see what you are writing. Not that many will see it, but it’s the principle that counts. Don’t let it hang out unless you are willing to defend your right to publish to the death, even though it’s called Freedom of Speech, and is protected by our Constitution.

I am not going to pretend that the technical aspects of blogging have been mastered, or that I also know who provides the best blog services. I only know that my blogs are on www.blogspot.com because it’s free and easy to use. That is a recommendation and fact all rolled into one. I didn’t even find Blog Spot on my own. My publisher said use it; so I use it. End of story….

Since this a blog within a blog book, I will post it for tomorrow. I’m not lazy, just trying to keep the bogs flowing on a daily basis. That was also recommended by my publisher. Yes, I too visualize him wearing black, holding chains in one hand, while cracking a whip in the other.

Write on,
Mittster

Gun Control Has Killed Millions

What more do we need to know? History can be a great lesson only if we pay attention to the past actions of governments. When will we ever learn that guns don't kill people? Bad, bad men and women kill people!

Our forefathers knew what could happen and that's why the Constitution Of The United States of America exists. God knows, we need to be able to protect ourselves in today's world!

All Americans should have the right to protect life and property every day and night. During riots, the public is vulnerable to say the least. Always remember that if we lose our right to keep and bear arms, only the police and criminals will have guns....with us right in the middle!

Yes, I am a conservative and proud of it. It's time to stand up and be counted. It's time to take control of our country. It's time to vote out the left wing liberals in November! And, it's really time to speak out, no matter the political correctness!

I'm just saying,

Mittster