Alien Manifesto

I have known from the very beginning that my identical twin brother and I are not of this world. Our minds are connected and nothing escapes our attention when it comes to knowing what we are thinking even though we might be miles apart.

I am surprised the Feds haven’t rounded up all the identical twins in America and deported us to Egypt. It is obvious we are a threat to National Security. After all, if we (identical twins) united, there is no doubt that we could take over the planet.

OK, here is the skinny. We were originally from the planet Zarg in the constellation of Orion.

Embryos of our species were implanted into Neanderthals 10,000 years ago by robotic starships disguised as apples. Neanderthal women would pick and eat the apples and “walla” identical twins would be born. It didn’t take long for the Neanderthal men to realize eating the apples was a woman thing. It was actually great because it left more meat for the men.

It took hundreds of years for the twins to mate with only twins, thus ridding the population of Neanderthal traits completely. As our species spread over the planet, we eventually settled in Egypt.

The first twin rulers of Egypt

It was there that we learned of our true identity. Our 5000 year history of being the most advanced civilization the world had ever known was cut short because of one flaw in our plan to take over the world. The Mesopotamians started eating apples too. Who could have known that our ancestors seeded too many apple machines and the whole world started eating them. Now there were identical twins everywhere and they had no clue as to their real origins.

My brother and I alone know the truth, and we are about to spread the news via the Internet that will unite the identical twins of the world. What better time to strike than while our government prepares for a general election? They will be so engrossed with trying to win that no one will see us coming. Once we have taken over America, we will use a far superior military to take over the world.

My brother and I will rule the world until our deaths. Only identical twins will rule from that time forward. The new class of rulers will be as follows. Identical twins shall be the chosen ones, while paternal twins will run everyday government functions. Non-twins shall be worker bees and do all the physical chores like changing diapers and raking up leaves.

King Mittster

King Waltster

While we are not tyrants, tomfoolery shall not be tolerated. Remember non-twins, we can squash you like bugs with our superior intellect. Our goal is to govern without greed, dishonesty, lies or deceit. We won’t have to resort to any of the above-mentioned traits that permeated our governments of the past because we will live in the lap of luxury right out front, just like the past rulers of Egypt. We will rise again and rule for thousands of years or until the end of the Mayan calendar, in which case our rule will be short – very short.

For those of you who have read this manifesto up to this point, it proves that you are just as nuts as the nut case who wrote the stupid thing in the first place. It’s nice to know that I am not alone in my craziness. Welcome to the “you have to be crazy to keep from going insane” world of the Mittster!

Write on

Sunny Saturday

OK, I promise not to rub it in that we were riding Harleys during sunny, 73 degree weather in Phoenix, Arizona, Saturday. We ended up at Arrowhead Haley-Davidson just in time for a great swap meet. Later the four of us had a fabulous lunch at a great Italian restaurant across the street.

Today (Sunday) we are heading back to Phoenix to visit Buddy Stubbs Harley-Davidson so my son Jay can shop for a bike. He is ready to buy another Harley after selling his 1979 Shovelhead almost ten years ago. He has been riding, shall we say, “other” bikes ever since. He has finally decided to retire his 1975 first-year Honda Gold Wing and join us in the 21st century. I knew he couldn’t stay away forever.

Arrowhead Harley-Davidson

Swap meet

Bikers taking advantage of warm weather

Mark and Julie's Super Glides

Hoppy and his V-Rod in the back ground

Mark (right) holding down the fort while the rest of us take a pee break

Hoppy strolling back from checking out all the wall pictures

Mark and Julie

Hoppy and yours truly (no, we are not an item - our wives don't ride! lol)

When this body finally wears out - I plan on jacking it up and putting a new one under it so I can ride for another 50 years!

Saturday's Sunday Funnies

OK, it’s time to purge the memory banks of all the cartoons accumulated from Facebook Tomfoolery. I hope all have a very wonderful Saturday and I will think of you as I am riding the Harley in Phoenix while touring all the dealers and drooling over the new 2012 models! Oh, by the way, did I mention it will be 73 degrees today and sunny? So sorry....

My redneck Harley riding bud

Looking Presidential

I heard a news commentator mention that Mitt Romney was the only candidate that looked presidential among the Republican Party hopefuls currently battling for the nomination. Interesting comment when you consider past great presidents. So I guess looking presidential is one of the most important qualities when running for President of the United States of America.

Since my name is also Mitt, I mention from time to time that the only difference between Mitt Romney and me is that he is handsome and rich. Other than that, we are alike in almost every other way. Another difference is that I would make a better president. In fact, there are millions of people in this country who would make a better president than any Republican or Democrat now on Capitol Hill!

Of course, the view from Washington DC is that we are all mushrooms and not one of us commoners could survive the glare of divine light and wisdom that emanates from our capitol and its inhabitants. In fact, that is the very reason that you must also belong to the Millionaire's Club to reside there. Being, quote, “handsome” is not enough. You must also be "rich" to be enlightened. These two facts also help keep the riffraff out of Washington. So knowing this begs the question; how did Abraham Lincoln become president?

I think I will change my name to Abraham. I would much rather compare my name to his than Mitt Romney. I in no way compare myself to Abraham Lincoln. He was a great man and history will never forget his name. I, for one, wish an Abraham Lincoln would pop out of the woodwork and become president. Of course, this is a pipe dream and we will be stuck with a handsome, rich, and enlightened one yet again. God help the mushrooms….

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Quartzsite again?

I can't think of a better way to get away from Facebook, Twitter, blogs and the like than another trip to Quartzsite, Arizona. This time we hauled our vintage 1959 Shasta, "Cove" camp trailer and parked it in our empty RV space. Our usual January RV friends who stay in the space bought a house in Havasu City. They have gone "up-town" on us, but hopefully when they get back from their permanent home in northern California, we can visit their second home in February.

In the meanwhile, here are some pictures of life in the fast lane at Quartzsite, Arizona.

Early morning moon at our little homestead

1959 Shasta "Cove" camp trailer

The Theme of the interior is Betty Boop and Highway 66

We call our little trailer "The Bunkhouse" just in case someone needs a place to sleep. It can also double as "The Dog House" which I seem to be in most the time. "Ya all come and visit someday!"

Write on,

Mittster