Thursday, June 30, 2011

Three-Wheel Diva

Now this is a trike...and I bet it can climb a tree! I could picture Larry "The Cable Guy" riding this thing cross-country and making a TV show out of it.

Do ya think these bikers are headed for WallyWorld? Perfect!!

Write on,

Mittster

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My Very Best Twin Friend

My identical twin, Walter, was diagnosed Wednesday, June 8, 2011, with prostate cancer after ten biopsies in ten different locations turned up positive. It was also discovered that his prostate gland was twice its normal size and there appeared to be lesions on the outside casing, which probably means that the cancer had spread to other parts of his body. He is now being scheduled for tests to determine the extent of the cancer. These tests will tell his doctor whether or not he can be operated on to remove the prostate gland.

I love him dearly and he knows that this blog may be instrumental in saving someone else the hardships he now faces. We both understand the consequences of cancer. We lost our stepfather to melanoma in 1980 and our mother to pancreatic cancer in 1996. It is a horrible and ghastly way to end a life, and the sad part is that most cancers can be cured with early detection.

The story of Walt and me concerning prostate cancer starts in the year 2000. During a yearly physical it was discovered that my prostate was enlarged and my PSA (an enzyme count that becomes elevated and can indicate cancer of the prostate gland) was 7.5, while .01 was considered normal for a man of my age. I was referred to a specialist and the decision was made to remove the gland. A year after the surgery my PSA started to elevate again and I was subjected to radiation treatments for six weeks. The PSA level dropped to .01 and has stayed there ever since.

Of course, I was concerned about my twin brother’s health after going through what was, at the time, a rather nasty surgery for me. I would call and beg him to get a physical and blood test. During visits to Tucson I would spend much of the time explaining why it was important for him to get a blood test and rectal exam. He would always promise that he would and during that ten-year period, he even assured me several times that he had had the physical and that everything was normal. It wasn’t until a month ago that I discovered he had not and was now having problems urinating, which leads us to the phone call I received from him yesterday. Now we are way past “should of, could of or would have” rhetoric…. To be continued

It is now June 17 and Walt goes in for a full bone scan and some kind of other test today because his MRI last Monday showed some spots on his lungs. I called him this morning and wished him well. I am a little miffed he didn’t call me yesterday about the lung thing when he found out, but now is not the time to hit him with additional crap. He is dealing with enough…. I do find it interesting that he still seems a little in denial. I know though that we all handle tragedy in our lives differently. Because he is my identical twin though, I can say with some certainty that I know how he feels because I feel it too. He wishes he had listened to his bro, but he also knows it is too late to cry over spilt milk.

I also know that he is apprehensive about the hospital pumping his blood vessels with radioactive gunk for the bone scan and another look at the lung spots. We laughed about the radioactive cocktail killing him instead of the cancer. It really wasn’t funny, but laughing seemed to help. He knows the worst is yet to come, but every time we talk he reiterates the fact that he will be going on a Harley run with me this September to Colorado. Oh, how I wish it will be true…. I made reservations for a three-night stay in Durango, Colorado, for the Labor Day holiday after hanging up with my brother. I made sure a copy of the confirmation was e-mailed to him also. Never discount the power of positive thinking…. To be continued

It is now Father’s Day, Sunday, June 19, 2011. I have been in contact secretly with our friend Nancy Bradley in California. She graduated with us from Escondido High School in California a million years ago. While Walt and I migrated out of California, Nancy ended up in northern California to become a bestselling author and a world renowned physic healer. I thought it appropriate to ask for her help in Walt’s time of need. She was, as always, ready to do whatever she could to help my brother and her friend. Here is my e-mail to Nancy and her amazing reply to my request:

Dearest Nancy,

I have a special request to ask of you. First of all, what I am about to tell you must remain confidential between you and I for the time being. Walt has acute Prostate cancer. After ten different biopsy of his prostate, all ten were cancerous. To make matters worse, he also has lesions that usually mean the cancer has spread outside the prostate case.

Tomorrow, Monday, he has a MRI and Friday he will have total bone scan to find out if and where the cancer has spread. If by chance the cancer is located only in the prostate, it will be removed post-haste. If the cancer has spread to other parts of the body...well, that's a different issue.

I would like you to pray and work your magic for a healing. Walt knows only too well that instead of listening to his brother after my bout ten years ago, that he has waited way too long and that the prognosis is dismal. I know that there is great power in prayer and the more people who are praying for him, the better chance he can and will have to beat the odds. I will keep you posted concerning the tests, but in the meanwhile, he could use your healing powers and positive thoughts.

I knew before our class reunion in May that it was very important he make the journey to Escondido with me. I also knew that you and Larry might not have the chance to see him again, but I was unable to say anything to anyone about the symptoms he was having at the time. While at the reunion, he was able to bury old animosities and feuds. He now understands that life is not static and that people do indeed change. How he handles this situation is a road only he can travel, but having people like you and Larry praying for him is so very important.

I am sure by the end of next week he and I will know the extent of the problem. I also pray for the best, but fear the worst. He hasn't told his children or anyone else about this yet, which is as it should be. You know because you should, and he needs your behind the scenes help.

Thank you, dear lady....

Love,

Mitt


Hi Mitt,

Funny how minds meet, I just came to the computer to write to you to see if you were doing okay with the fires that are around you, and to offer my home to you your wife and your pets if you need to get out fast. That offer stands.

I will do my healing right away on Walt, but more so, I will also network his name out to over a million of my Truth In Healing practitioners across the world, simply by his FIRST name, which is all they need to do their job. He will be none the wiser. He is in my Prayer Box as we speak.

I lost my brother Bill to cancer a few years ago. It is not easy; he was a brilliant attorney and then very respected judge. Had he lived he would have been the judge on the Casey Dugard case.

If Walt has a bad prognosis, Larry and I will hopefully fly in and say hello. But, we are going for good news. Okay, this is going to be short, but I am networking out for everyone right now.

Love, N.

EXTREME ALERT!

Dear TRUTH IN HEALING PRACTITIONERS:

My dear high school friend Walt W. has advanced prostate cancer. Of 10 biopsy locations tested, ALL ten were cancerous. He is going in for an MRI Friday and a total bone scan to see if and where the cancer has spread. PLEASE help me in sending TRUTH IN HEALING and put this dear friend in your Prayer Box for recovery and good results! He is very dear to me. I do so appreciate all you do and the magic that we all do with great truth energy from the universe.

Thanks so much to you all,

Love, Nancy


What can I say? Nancy Bradley is the best friend anyone could ever have…. To be continued


June 24, 2011, has dawned like any other day, but today is different. Walt has had his entire list of tests completed and indeed the aggressive prostate cancer will not be denied. He is schedule to start hormone treatments next Thursday. We laughed because his doctor told him he will grow breasts after the treatment. At our age, they were starting to grow anyway! After that he will be subjected to a week of intense radiation treatments. He will not have the cancerous gland removed because it just doesn’t matter in the scheme of things now. Why spend a hundred thousand bucks to remove something that treatments are going to shrink to the size of a walnut anyway?

The prognosis is basically as follows: if he does nothing, he can expect to live two years – give or take a few months. If he has the treatments, his life may be extended greatly, providing the spots on his lungs and hip bones are not cancerous or that the cancer hasn’t spread to other vital areas. For the most part it’s a guessing game, but Walt plans to live life to its fullest while he can. I am sure we will make our motorcycle ride to Colorado in September and I swore on our twinship not to make fun of his three- wheeled scooter from Italy. “For God’s sake, brother, you got the cancer and you are worried about what people will think about your sissy motor scooter?” Crap, I already broke my pledge not to tease him!

I am looking forward to spending quality time with Walt. We go back a long way and share a multitude of identical twinship experiences, some so bizarre as to defy logic. Simultaneous dreams, sleep-walking together, waking up with each other’s clothes on, just to name a few. We have worked side-by-side in construction framing houses faster than any other crew because we did not need to talk about what we were doing – we would think about it and then work together to make it happen.

For the men out there who think going to a doctor is sissy stuff, listen up! Dying of cancer will kick your ass until you pray for death. I am reminded of a scene from “The Shootist,” John Wayne’s last movie before he died of lung cancer from smoking. James Stewart played the doctor and explained to Wayne’s gunfighter character (who had cancer) that he would not wish this death on anyone, not even his worst enemy!

For God’s sake, men of the world, put away your macho bullshit and get the physical. The life you save will be your own….

Write on,

Mittster

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

In a Nutshell

No pun intended guys, but your prostate is encased in a shell-like casing and once cancer gets outside of it, it’s all over but the crying. As we speak, I know someone who is suffering big time because they didn’t get a blood test and physical when they should have.
If you are over forty-five and have not had a blood test to see what your PSA (an enzyme that if elevated can indicate prostate cancer) level is, then you are playing Russian roulette. Why, you might ask? Because most men will develop prostate cancer later in their lifetime and it can and will kill you in an ugly way, that’s why!

I know, it is a slow growing cancer and we will probably die of something else first. That reasoning is pure, unadulterated bull poop. Yes, it is slow growing – at first. Once it gets out of the case, it can and will become an aggressive monster attacking lungs and bones. This is when you will wish the pretty nurse had taken those blood tests when you were younger.

I have a brother-in-law who lives in Louisiana (you know who you are), and I know he hasn’t had the test. For God’s sake, brother, you are over fifty. Don’t wait until it’s too late and your family has to watch you die a horrible death. It is not fair to them, but most of all, it is not fair to you. Fishing really gets good when you are older and healthy enough to catch the big ones

For all you mothers, wives, girlfriends, sons and daughters who know your loved ones have not taken the blood test, beat up on them long and hard. Accept no excuses, and whip on your man until he bleeds. Get him to a doctor by hook or by crook! I know you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Remember the carrot and the stick cartoons?

Well, get a fishing pole and tie a Budweiser to the string. Then lead him to the doctor…it will really work if you tie a six-pack and a centerfold to the string!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Monday, June 27, 2011

"Whether or not you are a country music fan, these are truly the words of a deep thinker, and a highly intelligent person. So simple, yet so profound! Read the words of wisdom from that famous philosopher Willie Nelson, iconic country and western singer, on his 75th birthday below his esteemed portrait. Only a man with such wisdom and maturity could be so concise and succinct in phrasing his feelings at this turning point in his life."



"I have outlived my pecker."

The Penis Poem--by Willie Nelson
My nookie days are over,
My pilot light is out.
What used to be my sex appeal,
Is now my water spout.
Time was when, on its own accord,
From my trousers it would spring.
But now I've got a full time job,
To find the f***in' thing.
It used to be embarrassing,
The way it would behave.
For every single morning,
It would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches,
It sure gives me the blues.
To see it hang its little head,
And watch me tie my shoes!!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Golden Years My Ass

Our Yearly Dementia Test-- only 4 questions

Our Yearly Dementia Test

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!
Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.
The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.


1. What do you put in a toaster?














Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else … Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.




2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?














Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.






3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?














Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.







4. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon , 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven ..

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?













Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own age?
It was YOU driving the bus!!

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.




PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!! I failed them all and I'm proud of it!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Surviving The Highways

I have noticed lately that I am starting to rant and rave about how other drivers are operating their vehicles on public roads these days. I think it is called road rage – Ok, I know it is called road rage! What am I to do? I not only drive a vehicle, but I also operate a motorcycle too, and I swear they are all out to get me. Paranoia perhaps, but it just isn’t safe out there. Sometimes I think wearing the name Harley-Davidson on a coat or shirt is like painting a bull’s eye smack dab on my back.

What is it with the yahoos who change lanes back and forth like a bullet while speeding up and slowing down because there is always someone going slower in front of them? By the time they realize there is a motorcycle next to them, they have already run the poor rider and bike into the pavement!

And, what about the zombie that pulls out in front of not only motorcycles, but bicycles too? I have had people pull out in front of me like I was totally invisible. While I am laying the bike down and trying to survive, Mr. or Ms. Zombie finally see me and have the “What are you doing there look?” I hate that look – like the whole thing is my fault.

Here is the clincher. What about the driver who is either texting or putting on makeup while approaching a stop light at the speed of light? All I see in my rear view mirror is someone’s face pointed downward or up at a mirror. It’s time to rev up the V-Rod and hope there is a break in the side traffic so I can get the hell out of their way.

It is no wonder that I am experiencing road rage these days, but rage doesn’t cut it when someone is about to make road kill out of you. I would love to mount a .30 cal machine gun front and back to the bike, but the law doesn’t allow it. Besides, it takes away from the look of the bike. Perhaps I could just hibernate 24/7 and never go outside. That won’t do. I have to feel the wind in my three hairs and the sun on my face to really feel alive.

So what is the answer? I looked up “responsibility” in the dictionary and this is what I found: the ability to respond to external situations. After all the years of driving vehicles and riding motorcycles, it is obvious that I have learned how to stay alive in spite of idiot drivers. So I must be a responsible driver and rider. That is not to say that I will never bite the bullet, but so far so good.

I recently watched a Swiss guy fly a jet pack through the Grand Canyon. How about I add wings to my V-Rod? If he can do it, so can I. I could picture me flying over bad drivers when necessary. I bet that would wake someone up from their driving stupor!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Thursday, June 23, 2011

1959, fins and all

I again traveled to Quartzsite, Arizona, to water trees and replenish water in the numerous five gallon pails in our motor home so the cabinets don’t fall off the walls during the hot, hot summer. Quartzsite in summer is like a ghost town time forgot.

I also installed a new doggie compound made out of chain link fencing six feet high to keep the coyotes from feeding on our rather large Chihuahuas next winter during the influx of 250,000 motor homes and campers that will dot the landscape from all parts of the country, especially the cold parts. On the box the enclosure came in was printed (in bold letters I might add) the following: With a half inch wrench, pair of pliers and two hours, you too can install your very own animal shelter. Seven hours later with heat prostration closing in, I finally finished. I was just able to crawl up the steps and fall face first into the motor home bed to sleep like a zombie until dawn the next day. Oh, did I mention the directions inside the box stated (in small print) that two people were needed to build the enclosure? No, it couldn’t say that on the outside of the box, now could it!


Tuesday morning I was up early, watering trees, admiring my finished project and readying the motor home for another month in purgatory before I would again return to save the day. While gladly leaving “hell” for the trip home, I spied a fabulous 1959 Shasta "Cove" camp trailer that happened to be for sale.


The darn thing had fins and everything you would expect from something 1959ish.


I stopped, and the owner took me for a two minute tour (maybe three, it is small you know) and I was amazed at the immaculate inside.


It even has the original 12 volt refrigerator that works!


The bed is a far cry from our king and the pups may have to sleep on the floor. Who am I kidding, it will be me on the floor!


I took these pictures, got his phone number, and again headed out for the higher elevation of Camp Verde, Arizona.

I no sooner got home, downloaded the pictures and showed them to my wifey, when she ordered a return trip to the "hell hole of Arizona" to buy the trailer before someone else snatched it up.


I wasn’t too worried; there were only two people and two burros there when I left earlier in the morning.


I returned to Quartzsite early the next day, loaded up our little treasure, and towed it to its new home at our little spread in Camp Verde.



We can’t wait to now tow it to a KOA near Williams, Arizona, this summer and rough it a little. It will be like the olden days before huge motor homes, Direct TV, and slide outs. It still beats tenting by a mile though – life is good!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Let's Rock!


This proves you are never too old to "Rock and Roll!" Our house - 2011

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Blog that wasn't....

I need a break and I am sure you do too!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My Next Life



“I want to live my next life backwards! You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat. Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting benefit checks.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're too young to work.

So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party. As you get even younger, you become a kid again. You go to elementary school, play, and have no responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy. You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap. Until finally...You finish off as an orgasm!”

I rest my case,

Mittster

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

There is justice after all

There is one thing all life on earth must do regardless of species, status, position, wealth, location or health. We must all pass out of this realm into the next. It is Mother Nature’s leveling field. No one gets out alive. No matter how important you are, or think you are, there are no exceptions. I personally don’t find this fact depressing or morbid in the least. In fact, I think it is the only real justice in a totally unjust world.

Every species on this planet strives to eat while not be eaten, and to procreate. There is one exception and that exception is human beings. We have the brain power not to eat one another, for the most part (there still could be some exceptions), and we are learning how to control birthrates, also for the most part. For all our smarts, there is one thing we haven’t learned yet and that is how to get along with each other. It always comes down to the wealthy people against the poor people. The wealthy people exploit the poor people, and the vicious cycle continue until the poor folks rise and chop off the heads of the rich folks. At least that is what I have read in history books.

There is one all important truth that sustains poor folks and that truth is that the rich bastards gotta die too! Without this truth, life would be unbearable. So if you are filthy rich and reading this blog (not much chance, but you never know), back off, sucker – your time is coming sooner than you think!

Write on,

Mittster

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Riding Harleys is my answer to cancer!


Yes, you heard me right and I stand by my conviction. I am just an independent, free thinking, intelligent human being who has learned that drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and stress are the enemy, and that freedom of Spirit is the only high anyone really needs.

For me, riding a motorcycle out in the elements is my path to serenity. It is not only the fresh air and sunshine, but something else that we can’t see, hear, touch or smell. It is the ability of our beautiful blue planet to lift my spirits high and flood my being with peace. This is great medicine with absolutely no side effects except vibrant well being.

You might be thinking, this is all well and good, but riding motorcycles is way too dangerous for me, and you may be right. It’s not for everybody for sure. I look at it this way; my bike is a lethal weapon and could (if used improperly) kill someone, including me. Every time I ride, my senses are more alert than at any other time in my life. My riding buds and buddettes have learned the art of being on the defensive – not just watching out for other motorcyclists, but also automobiles and all road hazards, which include debris and animals.

You might also be thinking that all this attention to hazards and not being able to look at the scenery can’t be much fun. When you realize that each time you ride you are enabling your brain to work out thousands of calculations and scenarios every second while you are riding, the benefits of keeping your mind sharp are obvious. Adventure before dementia is my motto!

I suppose if the truth be known, most motorcycle enthusiasts like the element of danger also. The edge is an exciting place to be after spending hours and hours on mundane work schedules, chores or whatever. Some of us need excitement and comradeship in our lives, while others are content to stay home and relax in their own way. It’s all good – whatever floats your boat.

The main deal is to laugh a lot. Laughter is indeed the best medicine. When I ride with friends, we laugh all the time. Every stop is a lesson in humor. We kid each other about everything under the sun, and we certainly don’t refrain from laughing at the antics of other bikers who cross our paths, not literally, of course. Laughter and happiness kill cancer cells. They cannot co-exist…one cancels out the other. Unscientific of course, but who cares – it works for me at this time in my wonderful life. I have the best of both worlds; my wife and I laugh all the time. She is the glue that keeps my home life happy and wonderful. It saddens me that she no longer rides with me, but her happiness while I am riding is reading books and spending time with our dogs and cats. Oh, and she loves watching “The Young and the Restless.” Of course, I don’t watch it, much….

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Monday, June 13, 2011

Motorcycle Heaven


While many motorcycle riders are looking forward to Sturgis, South Dakota, again this year, I can hardly wait for the Four Corners Rally. Where the Arizona, New Mexico, Utah and Colorado state boundaries meet is smack dab on the route to Durango, Colorado, from the Verde Valley, Arizona. We will end up in Durango and ride daytrips up in the high country until it’s time to head back to Arizona.

What a ride it will be for our small group, which includes Walt, Jay, Hoppy, Phil, Julie, Mark, and yours truly this year. We don’t all ride Harleys and that makes the trip even better. Walt will be riding his Italian (three-wheeled) Piaggio, while Jay will be on his 1975 first year Honda Goldwing. Hoppy and I ride V-Rods, Phil will be on his Road King, and Julie and Mark will be riding Super Glides. You have to know that our Harley group will be making fun of the almost silent Piaggio and Goldwing. We will say things like, “Hey, you better start those bikes; the light is about to change!” and “Guys, it’s not safe to coast down these grades with the motor off!” It is all in good fun though and they will expect no less. In the old days, we would have to ride a quarter mile behind the foreign bikes so no one would know they were part of a Harley group. My, how times have changed, and to the better, I might add.

The ride through the Reservation is always a challenge because of heat and the distance between pit stops. You have to drink plenty of clear H2O, which turns into yellow H2O. Nothing worse than having to ride miles squirming on a motorcycle seat like a cat on a hot tin roof while watching out for horses, cows, dogs and a multitude of other critters on the road. Then, when you finally reach a pit stop, there are two hundred other riders standing in line at the only toilets for a hundred miles all with legs crossed and swaying back and forth like yellow-eyed zombies. It’s not for the faint of heart, but the whole experience is what riding is all about.

When you are convinced that the Reservation must be endless, the peaks of the Colorado Rockies come into view. The last stop before Durango is at a casino and service station just before Cortez, Colorado. The air has cooled and the promise of pines, fresh air, food and drink is only fifty miles ahead. I guarantee the motel’s hot tub and beds will call to you like a Siren’s seductive cry, and later sleep will be instantaneous and sublime. The next day will bring high country riding in some of the most spectacular mountains in the world. Good grief, I wish we could go right now!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Friday, June 10, 2011

PSA is not an airline!

OK, guys, it’s time to fess up; have you had your PSA blood test and a rectal exam to see if your Prostate Gland is enlarged? Oh, God, now I’ve gone and said the “R” word. I know a real man is going to say, “No freakin' way is a doctor going to stick their finger up my butt!” Ten years ago I felt the same way, especially when my doctor had a finger the size of a flashlight.

An interesting thing happened while having my physical that day. My prostate was enlarged and the blood test showed my PSA was elevated from .01 to 7.5. Doc recommended a specialist and it was only a short period of time before I was on the operating table having the nasty thing removed. A year later my PSA started to climb slightly and I went through radiation treatments, which knocked the PSA down to .001, where it has stayed to this very day. By the way, radiation treatment is a walk in the park compared to the chemotherapy I would have gone through had I not taken care of business ten years ago.

You may be asking yourself why I am writing a blog on this subject. Well, I am not only writing this blog, but I have also started a book. You see, someone very close to me has Prostate cancer and I am determined to make their story the poster child of Prostate cancer cure. Like most cancers, early detection is the key to survival. While it may be a good day to die, dying of cancer is not how I want to leave the planet. Sure, we all have to die. Only an idiot would argue against that fact, but if I can pass peacefully without pain and suffering, it would not only be better for me, but much better for my loved ones who have to watch the passing. Most people in my age group have watched loved ones pass and when they leave us suffering from the horror of cancer, it should and does create a lasting impression.

This brings me back to why some men won’t have yearly physical exams and blood tests. Folks, if I had the answer to that question, many lives would be saved every year. Being macho is part of it, but fear of needles and doctors' fingers certainly also play a role. Do what I finally did, guys, I found a female doctor! Problem solved; small finger and perfume makes the whole ordeal much easier.

Write on,

Mittster

Thursday, June 9, 2011

KFC Exposed


Ever wonder how KFC gets their chicken breasts to taste so good? They would have us believe that it is done with special spices and herbs, but this picture clearly shows a different recipe. The baby chicks are being raise on the breasts of a pretty young woman, and while the incubator’s name will remain anonymous, it is obvious she enjoys her work.

If you stop and think about the millions of KFC chicken breasts that are consumed daily in America, let alone the rest of the world, it becomes obvious that there are also millions of young women’s breasts being used to satisfy corporate greed.

This waste of an American resource must be stopped. If God had intended women’s breasts were to be used as chicken coops, he would have not invented men. The practice of using women’s breasts to raise baby chicks is against the laws of God, nature and man. I believe there should be a Congressional investigation and that Congressman Anthony Weiner should officiate, after all, he is an expert on the human anatomy.

The next thing we could find out is that piglets are being raised on the buttocks of young men, although it would kill two birds with one stone. We could raise pork chops and male chauvinist pigs at the same time, thus saving natural resources in the process.

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Cat in the Hat

I am sitting here this morning wondering what to write after the loss of our beloved Pomeranian Mittsy. I don’t want to continue writing blog after blog about the past and the torment of grief for our departed dogs. The world is full of misery and grief, and the less said about it the better. It’s hard to be up when you are down, but I don’t like down much – so I am going to write an up blog if it kills me. Damn, there I go being down again!

Here is an interesting secret no one has read on my blog before. We have two storage sheds on our little homestead, and one of them is the home of stray cats we take in. The whole thing started when my wife, Sandy, put a small dog house outside the back door for mother and son cats that migrated from the house across the street after the humans moved out and left the area; the act of leaving pets behind when people move disgusts both of us. It was winter, cold and dreary, and even though we had four dogs and a parrot at the time, what could I say? If I said no, there was a good possibility I would be joining the cats.

Well, the mother cat found her way into one of the storage sheds and had a litter of four beautiful kittens. We have found homes for two and the other two call "their" shed home. We did manage to catch mommy and son and took them to the vet where they were fixed…no more little kittens. Oh, did I mention that the cats are basically feral? We love them anyway....

I thought I might share some pictures – enjoy.

Write on,

Mittster

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Goodbye, Sweet Mittsy


Mittsy was always a showoff with her long, luxurious redish blond hair, beautiful dark eyes and winning smile. In fact, I never saw her not smiling. She was also a big-time flirt. Sometimes I would even call her a floozy because she would go off with anyone who would show her the slightest bit of attention in a heartbeat.

Mittsy was a Pomeranian show dog that came to live with us when she was two years old because her owner and trainer passed away from a car accident. We signed a contract that we would never show her professionally and that Mittsy had to be spade within a short period of time. We fulfilled our part of the bargain and the only showing Mittsy ever did was to show her little heart out to anyone, anytime and anyplace. She won the best award offered to any show dog, and that was instant love from all the people she met during her short fourteen and a half years on Earth.

Mittsy gave new meaning to a lap dog. She was content to sit on anyone’s lap for the duration and the duration could mean forever. She was not always the center of attention because she had to compete with three other small dogs in the household and a Meyer’s parrot who, by the way, has always known it is all about him and not the pitiful dogs that live in his house. Mittsy stood her own ground though and was the center of attention when someone visited, even if it was a stranger.

We have had two of our beloved dogs pass within one month. I must say the heartbreak is overwhelming. My wife and I are still blessed with two Chihuahuas and Pickles the parrot. While we know that Pickles will probably outlive us, we dread the day when we have to say goodbye to our two other friends and companions. We are determined to not replace Annie and Mittsy, even though we know there are many dogs that need good homes. As we grow older, feeding and caring for two dogs and one parrot plus maintaining their health is enough for us to handle.

We will always have a dog or two because we love animals and rescuing a creature of any kind from cruelty, abuse or homelessness is part of the glue that keeps our family together. I truly pray that when we pass, our loving pets will be waiting for us with wagging tails, smiles and kisses galore.

Write on,

Mittster

Friday, June 3, 2011

Visions

I had a dream last night that mankind and the earth were not destroyed in 2012. Instead, as a people, we had to work out our problems and be responsible for saving the earth ourselves if we wanted a place to live. In fact, many scholars have been working on the problems for decades, but we are too busy working, playing or worrying to know or care about their efforts.

My dream also included a simple truth. When mankind can no longer see the stars because of pollution, our demise will be eminent. Some nights, even in northern Arizona, I can barely make them out. I know there are places on earth where the stars still shine brightly, but even there, changes are evident.

The dream was not a nightmare, but instead, just a gentle warning given to me personally for some reason. Maybe it is because I care deeply about our planet and all of its creatures – big and small. I think of all the innocent newborn babies on planet earth dying because human adults can’t get along with each other enough to stop polluting the very spaceship on which we live and depend on for survival.

Every early morning when the skies are clear, I stand on the front porch and look toward the heavens. I am saddened that I can no longer see stars down to the horizon, but at the same time, I am thankful that I can still see the Milky Way galaxy and praise the Great Spirit and all his majesty before me. I have a wonderful painting that shows Native American dancers celebrating their heritage by dancing at night with the heavens showing brightly down to the horizon. I look at that painting every morning and say a prayer for the earth.

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Evil into a Movie?

Making the murder mystery Evil in the Mirror into a movie is a great idea, but I have a problem with the casting director. She wants two unknown actors to play the evil twins from Tucson, Arizona. As the author and screenwriter, I suggested that my twin and I play the parts. After all, I wrote the book and he was part of the process. The casting director reminded me that our ages alone, not counting the fact that we can’t act, would keep us out of the movie. Swell, go ahead and cast two unknown, young, handsome and virile guys, see if I care.

Then we got down to who would play lead detective, Jon Mull. I recommended Al Pacino, but again, I was shot down because of the age factor. What the hell is going on here? This casting director is practicing age and gender discrimination! All the Hollywood women look thirty while in their fifties. Why can’t the makeup artists do the same for the men?

Then the question of who would play young Detective Matt Wilson came up, I thought I would suggest Dennis Hopper and see if she even knew he had died, but I thought better of it. I stayed silent as she named actors I had never even heard of, while the other executives at the casting meeting nodded their heads up and down and back and forth like Hawaiian car dolls in a police chase.

I could see where this meeting was going. I was the newbie author with only Evil in the Mirror and Day Stalker to my credit. Well, guess again, folks – I hold all the movie rights to both books and I want some say so in the movie. I knew better than to say anything like that to the casting director though. I was informed early on in the process that if I caused any trouble, the production company would simple abandon the project. Bunch of butt heads if you ask me. By the way, I had always heard that when Hollywood came knocking they would fly you to southern California, put you up in a fancy hotel, and wine and dine you 24/7. What the hell am I doing staying in a Motel Six in Tustin and riding in a cab to Burbank? Bunch of cheap butt heads if you ask me.

Oh, well, at least I am being paid some good bucks to write the screenplay. Oh, crap, the casting director is saying something to me and I was daydreaming. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” “Mitt, wake up, it’s time to finish spreading the rocks in the yard before it gets any hotter,” my wife said as I climber off the couch were I had fallen asleep while watching television. As I walked toward the back door, I was thinking, Just as well, I didn’t like the casting director much anyway!

Write on,

Mittster

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Biker Babe Palin


Did I see Sarah Palin riding bitch with another woman on a Harley? I am sure I did and the question is why? Can’t she ride her own bike and if not, why not have a guy driving the bagger? It would certainly have made a better impression on me had she been handling her own big bike. If she wants to run the country, she should be able to ride a Harley on her own. Oh, wait a minute – I don’t think any president has ever ridden a Harley by their lonesome. I did Google the question and came up with zilch. As far as I can find out, no president of the U.S.A. has ever ridden a Harley-Davidson.

Here is the challenge; show me one presidential candidate riding (alone) on a bagger Harley and they have my vote. Lord knows we don’t need another politician as president; let’s try a biker for once. At lest we will know that they can handle something big and bad. In fact, I will vote for Palin if she can straddle a Road King and ride it hard!

I’m just saying,

Mittster