“Why do husbands dork out most of the time?” was the question asked by a friend on Facebook. I thought the question interesting simply because I am a man and the question was asked by a woman. What, does she think I am a famous guru or soothsayer? “Why ask a man that question in the first place,” I wrote back, hoping not many people were reading the thread.
“Mitt, you know everything,” was the reply. “Not, I’m on Facebook, aren’t I?” was my reply. I thought my last statement was a good point, but she was not dissuaded. “Oh, Mittster, you can’t be your age without knowing more about life that anyone I know!” OMG, I must be the oldest person on Facebook. That does it – Now I feel like hiding in a cave!
“Look, lady, all men are dorks. It is what we do, it’s all we do. We are genetically hardwired to be dorky most the time and we can dorkout at the drop of a hat.” That should shut her up, I thought while getting ready to sign off. “Oh, Mitt, you are so smart,” she replied. “I told my husband he couldn’t help it and that I forgive him, but he went to his mother’s house anyway.” Oh, swell, now I am in the middle of a marriage breakup.
I asked her if he would eventually return home and she was sure he would. After all, his mother lived in the guesthouse behind the main house. She told me not to worry because she called him a dork all the time, and he always returned after spending time with Mom.
I signed off with this pearl of wisdom for my friend on Facebook. “Do ya think calling your hubby a dork all the time may be rubbing off?” “You have me thinking I’m a dork too.” Her reply was simple and brutal. “Of course you are a dork too. You said it was genetic and that all men are dorks.” How in the hell did I get into this conversation in the first place? Oh, well, no worries; dorky is as dorky does, and I am lovin it big time!
I’m just saying,