Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Secret Dirty Look

Millions saw this secret dirty look...rightfully deserved I would suspect.

No explanation needed here. I don't even like wiping my own butt, let alone someone else’s. Yes, I was a bad dad, but I had plenty of company!

"Please, God, don't let my wife find out about last night. I promise never to do it again!" Definition of a man: Rounder, scum bag, cheater, idiot. Why have steak and lobster at home when you can have hamburger and tripe elsewhere.

Not to worry little one, I hated my oatmeal too! My dad used to rap the back of my head if I gagged on a lump. How could you not gag on a nasty lump of oatmeal?

This was not timeout at the mall because of bad behavior. This was my parents leaving me and hoping I would not find my way home. They took my twin brother with them. I knew they always loved him best!

I remember this look from my fourth grade teacher when I brought a horn toad to class and left it in my desk drawer. The old bitty found the critter after class and had to be rushed to the hospital. "It was only a toad," I explained to my dad. "It's only a spanking," my dad explained to me.

Not so secret dirty look from our assistant football coach in high school.

I'm just saying,


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