Author 101

I think most of us, at one time or another; have thought how great it would be to write a novel. I also think we have all tried our hand at writing poetry. What most of us haven’t done is get serious about writing.

Author Eri Nelson recently commented on Facebook that, “In my moments of shaken endeavors, I will rejoice in success of my resolve to try.” This statement exemplifies what being an author is really about. If you write because you are compelled to do so and you rejoice in the effort, that is enough compensation, because, usually, that will be all the compensation you ever get.

Do not write because you think you are going to be rich and famous. That concept is an illusion, and with some a delusion that can become an obsession causing metal problems. Write because at that moment in time you feel free, alive and excited about writing the next chapter and the next. Becoming one with your story is living the book as you write it. Even to the point when you know that the story must end, you want to continue. It is at this point you write the sequel.

For those of you who have always wanted to write, but were afraid of failure and/or ridicule, I say follow your passion and dreams. Find time in your busy life to start one sentence and keep going until you have a paragraph. The next thing you know is that you have written your first chapter. From that point forward you will be hooked and nothing will get in your way of becoming an author; not even yourself. Which, by the way, is the only real thing blocking your success.

I remember starting my first murder mystery with fear and much anxiety. What if this and what if that? Oh, my, how do I write the first sex scene? How do I describe the first murder? How do I make it believable? When the time came to describe these topics, I was surprised to discover that every movie, TV show and written article I had ever seen came to mind, and I was able to write every juicy detail with vigor and take the reader to places they really didn’t want to go.

“Mitt, you are one sick puppy,” was what I heard from many readers who were unable to stop reading until the book was finished. I may be a sick puppy, but the readers reveled in my sickness. Like my wonderful wife explained to her elderly mother after she called while reading Evil in the Mirror; “Mom, it’s called imagination. I am perfectly safe with my author husband!”

Thank you, Mum, for being concerned about your daughter’s safety. You are my best critic.

Write on,

Mittster

Quartzsite Time!

Why go to Quartzsite, Arizona, in the winter? Because it’s warm, that’s why! Need I say more?

Most folks don’t like the heat, but I love it. When summer starts to fade, I start thinking about our little casa in Quartzsite. Sure it gets cold there sometimes in the winter, but nothing like northern Arizona. A decent motor home with a carport can be cozy and warm, especially if you have Direct TV so momma can watch The Young and the Restless while I am out hunting meteorites. Life is good….

We bought this beautiful lot through an owner financed smoking deal.

This is the motor home we bought before the 2009 stock market crash. Later we knew we could never sell the fuel guzzler, so we turned it into a park model thinking if things got really bad we could super downsize and move to Quartzsite.

We added a storage shed and some great looking metal palm trees.

The carport almost broke the bank, but we knew without it the motor home would be trashed by UV rays. It is twenty degrees cooler under the roof in the summer and the low winter sun hits the right side of the coach, thus keeping it warmer.

I transplanted four mesquite trees from a lot across the street that was being dozed, but unfortunately only two made it through the following summer even though I watered them once a month. Most of the time it was around 118 degrees and I loved working in the heat while sweating like a stuffed hog! I managed to keep the neighbor’s transplanted palms trees alive. When I arrived in July, they (the palm trees) were yellow instead of green, but the day after I watered them they were again bright green and smiling!

Let us not forget Paul Winer who owns the only book store in Quartzsite. I wish someone would water him. He appears to be dying of the vine!

I'm just saying,

Mittster

My Friend Hoppy

My Harley riding bud Hoppy decided to get his first tattoo and asked me who the artist was that tattooed my full dragon sleeve. I replied that it was done by Adrian at Physical Graffiti in Sedona, Arizona.

Hoppy made the appointment for his sitting and I showed up about forty-five minutes later to get some pictures. His first sitting took about three hours and the next one will be about the same. He chose a large bald eagle for his right shoulder, which I thought was ambitious to say the least for a tattoo virgin.

While the outside of Hoppy was all smiles and giggles, I bet the inside was pure pain and misery. He handled it well and is now waiting a few weeks to heal before the final sitting. Of course he won’t admit it hurt, but for those of us who have large tats, we know better. My helmet is off to you, Hoppy; ya done good!

For those of you who might want a tattoo, I recommend Adrian highly. As a matter of fact, Sandy and I are going in this Saturday for some additional tats and color. If Hoppy shows up with a camera, I can guarantee you it won’t be all smiles and giggles for me while I am bleeding like a stuffed pig. I hate freaking needles, but my twin brother, Walt, and I love tattoos!

I’m just saying,

Mittster

Funny, but R rated

Every now and again I need to get rid of pictures I have downloaded from the net thinking they were funny. They may or may not be depending on your sense or lack of sense of humor. Enjoy if you are so inclined...otherwise delete them and go back to your prudish and uneventful life.

I'm just saying,

Mittster

It Takes a Village Idiot

I finally get it…our government wants us to run the country one village at a time. In other words, government will not, cannot, nor should it be expected to, work for the money we (the villagers) pay it to run the country.

When I say government, I mean federal, state, municipal and right down to Po Dunk, Idaho, with a population of thirteen. Pa always said, “Government workers are people who cannot make it in the private sector.” In other words, they all want government to take care of them with health care, vacation days, sick days, mental health days, and days off that I have never even heard of. What better way to get spoiled than to be part of the system that gets the best of everything the private sector can provide them? After all, who do you think pays for government? We The People, that’s who!

Personally, I am damn tired of carrying the burden for lazy, spoiled, self-serving, fat cat government workers. But, wait – the government has paid protection. Who do you think is paying for that protection? You guessed it…the villagers. The protection is called the Internal Revenue Service. Sure, I am sick and tired of paying taxes so the government can squander my money on pork barrel projects and perks up the kazoo, but try not paying your taxes and you get to visit a not-so-exotic federal penitentiary. What a setup - form a government that has its own protection against anyone who tries to stamp out all the corruption. By golly, it sounds like the Mafia to me. Do I need to say who the God Father is?

OK, so I have vented a little. Now, how do we fix it? There is only one way and it’s not a rope. We must fix it at the voting polls. You see, the Founding Fathers of our country anticipated the corruption because they knew the dangers of big government. After all, they fought and beat the largest government in the world at that time, which was England. That is why they (our forefathers) created the Constitution of the United States of America and The Bill of Rights. They also created the Supreme Court to keep big government from trying to change the Constitution.

We still have the right to vote out all incumbents who have made careers out of government work which was intended to be service to our country for a limited time and then back to work in the private sector. The problem is the lazy bastards and bastardettes have dug in like an Alabama tick into the blood of every hard-working American and digging them out is like moving Hawaii with a rope. The only way to get rid of them is to vote the fat cats out of office. After that happens, you also fire the entourage of lazy groupies they have hired to insulate them from the public eye.

Big government depends on two things to survive. It depends on apathy and the ostrich syndrome (sticking our heads in the sand)

from the voting populace. Apathy is the worst. How can we get rid of incumbents if we don’t vote in the first place? Come on people, let’s put November, 2012, on the calendar right now and vote for an Independent party. If we all vote for Independent candidates, the Republicans and the Democrats shrivel up and die a slow agonizing death as they are packing up and leaving OUR government. Good riddance to bad rubbish!

There is still one more obstacle to overcome. The oldest segment of our society thinks voting Independent is un-American. These folks think you must vote Republican or Democrat. We need to help our most senior voters understand that the status quo is part of the problem. We need new ideas and hope in the system. We won’t get either staying with the same old, same old.

Write on,

Mittster

Water into Gas?

Help me out here. I keep getting unsolicited e-mails saying that by adding a secret ingredient to my truck’s fuel tank my gas will be free because I can fill the tank with H2O (water). If this were just one isolated e-mail, I would not be writing this blog about something so stupid. The problem is that I receive this kind of e-mail daily.

OK, here are my thoughts about this and similar scams like free electricity and free solar power from sugar cubes. Are there really people out there in la la land that actually buy this crap? If so, I think it is time to denounce Darwin and take our place below ape status.

I am also wondering if the water into gas bull poop (we could actually run vehicles on poop) is perpetrated by the auto mechanics industry. If one out of every 10,000 auto owners bought the water-to-gas product, it would mean that there would be approximately two million cars to fix from having H2O pumped throughout the gas systems. That is just in the U.S.A., not counting the rest of the dumbass world!

I think it all comes from the oldest scam in history and that is getting something for nothing, which is counter to how the whole freaking universe works. The only thing free in life is Momma’s love and I’m not too sure of that. I still had to take out the garbage when I was a kid. Come to think of it, I had to do dishes too!

The vast Internet is perfect for fleecing the old, infirmed and frightened population into buying stuff that defies reason, but maybe will get them out of the financial nightmares created by, you guessed it, the same type of people who think up the online scams.

I, for one, am ready to act. It’s simple; get a rope!

Mittster

Doom and Gloom Sucks!

It’s no wonder I have stopped reading newspapers and watching news programs on television. The doomsayers win, I give up – uncle – I’m out for the count. Enough is enough, I can’t take anymore. What the hell happened to positive thinking, hope, the American Spirit and, most of all, belief in something bigger than the individual?

It seems like life in the world today is kicking the crap out of us and we can’t counter anymore. Like hell we can’t; I’ve got news for all you negative, doom and gloom assholes. I for one am tuning you all out; out of sight – out of mind. Take your Mayan end of the world calendar and stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine!

Nostradamus predictions are the product of the spin people who make a living out of trying to scare the world into buying their bullshit. Quatrains my ass. Anyone can try to change Histor to Hitler, but where is the real connection? Anyone who reads Nostradamus also knows that he never predicted the world to end in the year 2012. In fact, neither did the Mayans. December 21, 2012, would be the start of a new calendar for the Mayans had they not become cannibals and sacrificed men, women and children to their multitude of gods. They died liked they lived. Right, just the kind of civilization I want to believe in.

I don’t believe in the “pie in the sky” theory of God, but I do believe in “Divine Spirit” and that we are “spiritual beings having a human experience.” If Mother Nature eliminates us from the planet, it won’t be because humans predicted it; it will be because we didn’t live in tune with nature. “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature!”

So here is my deal; if you’re positive, I will listen. If you’re negative, I won’t. This is a two- way street, so I will always try to be positive so that you might listen to me if you so choose. “Birds of a feather flock together.” So if you are hanging positive, let’s hang together. Negative people go hand in hand with other negative people and perhaps should hide under rocks like mushrooms. I plan to stand with my fellow “positives” high on a mountain top and praise all the good things about our lives and the beautiful blue planet we call home.

I’m just saying,

Mittster