Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Ms. Betty Jean Buford

I thought it might be interesting to introduce the grandmother of Otis Buford. Otis is the evil killer in my new murder mystery, Day Stalker. Poor Otis's relationship with his grandmother was, shall we say, incestuous at best, and this chapter deals with Ms. Buford's entrance into the Tucson Police department to find lead Detective Jon Mull who is searching for her murderous grandson.

Desk Sergeant Walt Wigley looked up as his brain tried to perceive what his eyes were seeing. The elderly woman before him was a dead ringer for Mae West, sex symbol of old Hollywood movies. She wore a low-cut, frilly dress right out of Gone with the Wind. The only thing keeping her breasts from becoming a trip hazard was an exposed vintage corset. Her hair was blue-silver with ugly curly bangs that hung down limply just above her drawn-on dark eyebrows. Her painted cow-lipped mouth, when open, revealed ugly stained teeth not unlike her grandson, Otis Buford. Her mouth hung down on both sides of her heavily powdered face in a perpetual frown.

She stood there defiant; fat, stubby legs planted apart holding up a body that had long ago given up its fight against gravity. She smelled like booze and lilac cologne which was strong enough to makes the sergeant’s eyes burn. She was leaning on a wooden cane with a silver fox head for a handgrip. Walt couldn't help but notice she also resembled Colonel Sanders.

“Can I help you, Madam?”
“Not likely. Where is Jon Mull?” she answered in a thick southern accent.
“I’m afraid Detective Mull is not here right now. Can I be of assistance?”
“Are you deaf? I said, ‘not likely.’”
“Madam, I am the duty desk sergeant and you won’t see anybody unless you state your business.”
“I am Ms. Betty Jean Buford and I demand to see your superior this instant. I won’t be treated like a stable boy!”

Much to Walt’s relief, Captain Mason walked up and intervened before the situation could turn really ugly. “Ms. Buford, I am Captain Mason. Please permit me to escort you to my office where we can wait for Detective Mull.”

“Captain, it is a pleasure to meet you. Finding someone of your obvious southern charm is rare, unlike this sergeant before me. Please lead the way.” Mason opened the gate and steadied Ms. Betty Jean Buford by holding her free hand as she waddled toward his office. Sergeant Wigley’s relief suddenly became Captain Mason’s concern. He couldn’t help but notice the way the old crow was eyeing his crouch. Fortunately for Walt, the captain could not see the smile that was spreading over his face as he made a beeline for the men’s bathroom and a good laugh.

Write on,


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