Monday, March 7, 2011

Peanut Butter

No pun intended, but Salmonella in my Skippy’s creamy, low fat, peanut butter? I just stuffed down three peanut butter sandwiches and a quart of milk, for God’s sake. What am I supposed to do now, just sit here and wait for the explosion? I have been eating Skippy’s for as long as I can remember and this crap has never happened before. (Sorry, there I go again with the puns.)

Up until the TV news and e-mail warning, I thought Salmonella was a country in Asia. What a surprise it was to learn the truth, it kind of took the edge off my Sunday afternoon snack time. I can assure you peanut butter is off the menu forever, or at least until the craving overtakes me again.

Hold on, wait a minute…my stomach is starting to rumble. Oh, God, please don’t let me get sick. Now I am getting nauseated, my vision is blurring, and my equilibrium is going fast. I need to lie down and try to ride this out. What is that ringing in my ears? It’s getting louder and louder. Hello, it’s my alarm clock and it says it’s Monday morning and time to get up for work. Holy smoley, what a horrible nightmare – first thing this morning, I am throwing away the four jars of unopened peanut butter sitting on the counter where I left them Sunday morning!

I’m just saying,


No comments: