Saturday, July 9, 2011

Please, No Weekend Blogs!

What the hell is wrong with me, I can't stop posting blogs seven days a week even if I have to copy a stupid e-mail and call it a blog! Oh, well, they are funny and the laughter is worth the price of reading. I just need to face it once and for all. I’m a geek and proud of it!

1. How Do You catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.

3. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopath

4. How do you get holy water?
You boil the Hell out of it.

5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

6. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

9. What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

10. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro cinco.

11. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

13. What lies at the bottom of rhe ocean and twitches?
A Nervous wreck.

14. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

15. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.

16. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

17. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the dog.

18. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

19. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?!
The location of the dirt bag.

20. Why did Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.

21. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A Bad golfer goes whack, damn!
A bad skydiver goes damn, whack!

22. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer!

Now, admit it.... At least one of these made you smile.

Support bacteria.
They're the only culture some people have.

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